Leona Sang It Best....

"Did you ever have a day where it all just came apart.
You thought that this would be the end, this would be the end, this would be the end. Did it ever hurt so bad
So vicious, cruel, or sad
You thought that nothing good could come, nothing good could come, nothing could come...."
Learning As We Go (click to listen) by Leona Naess

So, I really haven't been able to stop listening to Leona Naess's album Thirteens because it is that good. Anyway, this song has been striking a chord within me. Between last week and this week it feels like my world is imploding, and I've felt exasperated and unsure of what the next step is. I am hoping that the closing of doors means the opening of windows in my future... but only time will tell.

Amidst my stress and overwhelm-ed-ness and on the verge of crumbling, God drops me a line in the form of encouragement and love from a few members of the OMMS Art Club:

After returning to my room from an infuriating meeting on the brink of a breakdown, I look up and see my chalkboard look like this. I sat on a desk and cried.... THIS time not tears of frustration or anger, but of awe. There are times I need to be reminded why I am here - on this planet, in this state, in this city, and in THIS school. This was one of those such reminders - to remember how specific God's plan was to bring me to THIS VERY PLACE and how my job does matter.

My week went on to crumble further and this week finds me in a stressful tizzy trying to finish up things for the end of quarter (read GRADE PROJECTS) and get my students to pass the English quarterly assessment (only by a miracle), but I do have a peace about the fact that I am STILL called to this place and these kids.

Thank you Annika, Alexis, Joris, Rachel, Lauren, Julia, and Alyssa for helping me remember that.

PS One of Joris's comments made me laugh a LOT - "Lithuania will make it to FIFA World Cup 2010!!!" hahaha LOVE that kid

PPS What is up next for the week? New Music Tuesday (hopefully posted by Friday hahaha) and an update on my Forensic Science Seminar (which is TOTALLY awesome)!!!!

Tunes from Tuesday

On Tuesday of this week, I went with my sister to see two amazing artists - Leona Naess and Ray Lamontagne. I was really excited for Whitney to come with me PLUS I have been so excited for this concert since August!!! It was INCREDIBLE! The show was in Bethesda at a place (that I have never heard of) called The Music Center at Strathmore. I recommend going to this place whenever you get the chance. This was one of the most amazing venues I have been to for a concert. It was GORGEOUS inside. Whitney and I were in awe. Not only that, but because it is a music center, it was made for the purpose of sound. The acoustics just blew me away and it was by far the best sounding concert I have ever been to. The simplicity of the music and the way it reverberated in that room made it feel like Ray and Leona were singing right in your ear.






Anyway, let me tell you about the show. Like I mentioned in a previous post about Leona and her new album, I was really excited to see her live. She is one of those artists that was just made to sing live. You know how sometimes there are bands that don't sound as good live as they do on their album? That is not the case with Leona. I love her CDs, but I think her live sound is even better than that. The purity and quiet power of her voice captivates you. I was so happy to hear her sing songs I have fallen in love with from her latest album "Thirteens." However, the coolest part of her set was her singing the song that made me fight to find who she was, her song "Ballerina" from her self-titled album. When I first hear the song, I NEEDED to find out who sang it, and it led me to her. Hearing her sing that song on Tuesday was magical for me and did not disappoint! I recorded a video of it, and because of the sound of the room, you can hear it pretty well even though the video quality is sucky. lol Enjoy some Leona (the video was too big for blogger, so this is linked from my youtube page):







So after Leona surprised me by her incredible set, Whitney and I were dying for Ray to come out. This particular Tuesday was the release date for his new album "Gossip in the Grain" (which is GREAT!!!) Wow, he was fantastic! His voice is rich and soulful. What he can do with it, just makes my jaw drop. He played a good mix of his new songs, plus songs we all know and love. He played TWO encores... that's right... TWO! There is always a game that artists and fans play at concerts. Matt Nathanson made fun of this fact when I saw him a few weeks ago. The band/singer says "Ok, this is our last song, thanks for coming, see ya next time, etc..." They play, they leave, fans cheer/clap/yell. Eventually they come back for a few more songs. This is expected. Ray did that, he came back and played "Shelter" (yes!!!!) and another song (can't remember which one it was). Then he left and everyone cheered/clapped/yelled... but never stopped! (He was THAT good) and he came out AGAIN and played one more song from his new album! :) Yes!

Again, the video quality is crap, but the sound is good, so if I make you too sea sick with my shaking hands or the grainy-ness of the video is too much, just close your eyes and listen... you, too, might just fall in love with Mr. Lamontagne ;)

One of my favorites "Empty":


And "Burn":


So far October has been an incredible month for music! More on that later :)

The Real Ms. Walker

I haven't blogged in awhile... again... crap.


Teaching makes me so busy!!!! Last week I had some fun going with 8th grade to Genesee Valley. I signed up to go because these were my first year 6th graders, so I thought it would be fun (and it was... more to come later). That was on Wednesday... on Friday, was the 6th grade all-day trip to Camp Letts. This is where I proceeded to lead the nature hike 8 times: one mile down the hill and through the salt marsh and one mile back up the hill. That means I hiked the equivalent of a marathon in one day... and yes, even though I am young, I certainly paid for it the next day! (more to come)

Anyway, I decided to write this post because I am way too wiped out to do anything else (namely clean) (reasons for tiredness to come...)

I just thought maybe I had you all fooled with my early post with my classroom pictures. Maybe I fooled you into thinking that I am super neat and organized, that my classroom runs smoothly 100% of the time...

Well.... if that is the case, these pictures will show you the REAL Ms. Walker and her REAL room (which I am not ashamed of in the slightest!)





Here's my desk, covered in papers to be graded, papers that have been graded, miscellaneous "important" papers from the front office, and of course the evidence of the much-needed caffeine and water fixes from the day.















My front board - full of SO many different things!:
* the objective and homework
* the schedule
* the date
* my clean-up chart for our current project
* Notice the bottom corner of the first board... the score of the drama game. :)









My overhead cart sans my projector... covered in remnants of our class project, my sample project, tools, and of course... coffee? (please don't judge me...hahahaha) Oh and the cell phone I found in the hallway this afternoon.





Cabinets/shelves covered in anything I can set on them and walls covered in student work... and hey! the clock that finally got a new battery so that is not perpetually stuck on 11:45! :)








Covered in bookbags

I let the art club stash their stuff in my room on Wednesdays because there are SO many kids in art club that the kids plus their stuff would leave no room for art. Our art teacher is arguably the best and coolest (and one of my close friends) and I love those kids, so I joyfully house their stuff (plus that means I get to see them before and after art club to catch up on their lives... which I love).



I don't see my room as messy or disorganized - I can usually find something very easily thanks to my visual memory! I don't see it as haphazard or chaotic (ok, maybe chaotic sometimes, but joyful chaos). I don't see it as something to be ashamed of or feel embarrassed about.

I remember bringing in one of my most beloved stuffed animals in for show and tell one day in pre-school. Someone commented on how dirty and "ugly" it looked. This, of course, upset 4-year-old Me. But my teacher said, "It's not dirty or ugly... it is loved." Bethany Dillon once said "Some things are loved because they are worthy, some things are worthy because they are loved." I see my classroom as loved... it is lived (and learned) in! This mess is not mess but discovery and creativity. I work so hard to build an environment that is safe and comforting to all students. If that means some disorganization on my part, so be it! We function perfectly well and we like it here. I love my classroom. I look around it and I can picture my students' faces and the things we do here. Sometimes it blows my mind that God would allow me in on such a cool thing as helping students grow and learn here.

Oh I forgot one of my students' current favorite classroom inhabitant!

Our potato! In the beginning of the year we did an activity with potatoes (ask me later if you want to know about it). Anyway, we kept one to see what would happen, like an experiment. We wanted to see if it would rot or start growing things. Well, it is starting to get softer, but it IS GROWING THINGS! They run in and check it.. our "potato update". You can see the small green buds on the spud. Maybe I can update with more pictures as things progress! (M... you can't even blog on a regular basis... Shhh brain! We have to set goals here! OK, ok, M.)


Anyway, here is the real me - messy, seemingly disorganized... and growing things from rotten vegetation. :)

See you soon? I hope so.. I have so much to say... just not always the time. :)

Pearl of the Week

My great friend (and fellow English teacher) Heather taught me the term "Pearl of the Day." She uses it in her room, but to me it means finding at least one thing that just makes your day.

Today I had a small moment, but it was good enough to be dubbed the Pearl of the Week because it warmed me heart so much.

Anyone who knows me would consider it an understatement for me to say I love my students. I mean, I REALLY LOVE my students. I genuinely care about them, want to know how they are doing, rejoice with them in triumph, and feel their pain when things are tough. This extends beyond my classroom walls. For the first time, I know students in all three grades. Lucky for me, the health teacher's classroom is at the end of the 6th grade hallway. Since health is a class required for everyone every year of middle school, I have the pleasure of seeing my former students (now in 7th and 8th grade) pass my door each day to go to health. Throughout the course of the year, I will have seen every single student I have taught since beginning of this teaching journey. I can catch a cool "Hey Ms. Walker" from Jimmy or Joey, slap Wyatt a quick high-five, smile as Maryknoll joyfully waves good morning, pat Lily on the back to tell her she did great on the morning announcements, and enjoy my daily dose of high pitched, joyful squealing when I see Annika turn the corner. Little do they know, that this is one of my most favorite times of the day. More than anything I just I want to grab them, hug them, have them tell me all about what is new with them... except that I have a class and they can't be late. So I dawn my brightest and cheeriest smile, wave furiously, and greet them as they pass my door.

But today, I had an interaction with one of my dearest former students that warmed my heart and brought tears to my eyes.

Her name is Emma. She was a student in my class my very first year of teaching. She is one of those students that even when everything seems to be going to rot, kids are talking and not listening, and you feel like you are ineffective... you can look at Emma and she will be doing everything you've ever hoped a well-behaved, intelligent student would do. She is a BRILLIANT writer and worked the hardest I've ever seen a student because her goal since day one of walking into my room was "Ms. Walker, I want to be in GT." And by golly, that girl made it. She is sweet, kind, and her smile can light up the room. She also can sing like an angel. During my first year (and subsequent years) our team leader, Mr. Clifford, would joke around about the little "Mini Ms. Walkers" - the students he believed wanted to be me because they thought I was so cool. Emma was one of Mr. Clifford's "Mini Ms. Walkers"

On the last day of school that year, Emma brought me a letter she had written about all the things she loved from class and all the things she was looking forward to during the summer. Her mom sent me an email raving about how much Emma was sad to leave my class.

Today, I saw Emma before school started. She, being the amazing girl she is, was helping one of our volunteers deliver fundraising packets to teachers' rooms. She passed through my room, showed her big smile, and said, "Good Morning, Ms. Walker!!!" Of course, I smiled back and said "Good Morning" and continued preparing for the day.

About 5 minutes later she came back. She walked into my room and just stood there. I looked up from hole-punching papers and she looks at me with a tinge of sadness. This was our conversation
E: "Ms. Walker.... I really miss you."
M: "Aww... Emma I really miss you, too." (And I meant it) As a joke I say, "Are you sure you don't want to come back to 6th grade?"
E: "Oh no, I know I definitely want to come back to 6th grade."
(A pause... We smile at each other... I don't know what to say)
M: "Hey, Emma, are you going to do the play this year?"
E: "Ms. Walker, are YOU going to do the play this year?"
M: "Actually, yeah, I'm going to co-direct again... this time from the beginning!" (I chuckle)
E: "Then I am DEFINITELY doing the play." (she goes to leave)
M: "Have a great day, Emma."
E: "You, too, Ms. Walker"

I LOVE that girl. It got me thinking to what will happen next year when my babies will be moving on into high school. What will it be like to wonder/worry about them and not have tons of opportunities to see them? What is that like? How will I react? And then I got sad thinking about them moving on... so I stop thinking about it... but I think I will continue to ponder this all year because it is something new and unknown.

Until then, I will keep the pearls in my pockets for when my students don't listen or I don't feel like they are understanding me. Then, I can pull a pearl out of my pocket and remember that even when I don't feel at my best, I can still love them and make a difference. Thanks, Emma... I'll be tucking this pearl close to my heart.

Take a Time-Out Ms. Walker

Ok, I'm giving myself a time-out... a blogging time-out. I am so ready to blow my lid to the next person who BUGS me while I am trying to do work. This is the first Wednesday for the whole month of September where I don't have a meeting - you would think I could do some work... WRONG! School was out at 2:25... it is 3:05 and I have still accomplished nothing (yes, I know this blog is now adding to that... shhhhh). If one more person comes in here to bug about something that is not important... I WILL scream.

I just want to PLAN my lessons, GRADE my papers, and TEACH my students.... can't anyone see that? All of this logistical, bureaucratic, asinine BS that teachers have to deal with is enough to make you mad (in the crazy sense) and the number one reason why new teachers burn out in their first 2-5 years.... I'm in year 3 and trying to hold on.

Anyway, in my self-inflicted time-out, I have discovered some new things to help my reach calm and refocus. One is caffeine (mmmm) and the other is a not-so-new, but new-to-me thing of Podcasts. Now, I am new to discovering these, but ran across one that I am particularly enjoying. Some would say that I could listen to sermons, which would be a good idea for the exception of 2 things: 1) I hate talk radio, so I think I would hate talk-podcasts 2) I want something that can feed my raging emotions as well as be something I don't have to pay close attention to so that I can get some other work done.

The podcast I am most enjoying these days comes from NPR (I know SHOCK UPON SHOCK!!! Kelly would be so proud!!!) However, this is music through the vehicle of NPR. I found it on iTunes, it is free to download and listen to as well as subscribe to. It's called "NPR: Live Concerts from All Songs Considered" There are tons of concerts that you can listen to for free. Currently my favorite is the broadcast of Nickel Creek from the 9:30 Club from 11/06/07. Chris Thile's magic fingers on his mandolin and Sara Watkins's soulful voice along with Shawn Watkins's incredible guitar riffs is enough to talk even the craziest of crazies off the ledge. (Aren't you so impressed with my picture?! I just learned how to make screenshots on my computer... Macs are so totally boss).


So thank you, NPR, for podcasting some great musicians for my free enjoyment. You may just have saved my colleagues and unbeknownst motorists from my rath. :)

Tuesday Tunes

In my entertainment world, perhaps the most exciting of the day of the week is Tuesday. Now, for you movie-buffs out there, you might say "But Meghan! How can you say that?! MOVIES come out in theaters on FRIDAYs!!!" Oh, Movie Buff, do you even know me? Do you know why Tuesday would be the best day of the week for me?! Tuesday is New Music day!!!

Music is my lifeblood. It courses through my veins in a way I cannot explain. It is how I relate to this world, and part of my ridiculous memory is intertwined in it. I think in lyrics, feel emotions in lyrics, and can explain my life through lyrics and melodies.

So, naturally, the most exciting day for me (entertainmently speaking) is Tuesday because that is the day of the week where new music comes out. In an attempt to keep myself bloggily responsible (are you liking these new words I'm inventing? I'll be calling Merriam Webster soon) I want to share some of my ideas about the new music released each Tuesday. Let's talk about this week's new releases that I'm excited about!

Released 9/16/2008:


"Thirteens" by Leona Naess
This is Leona's fourth album (my personal favorite is her self-titled, third album). Leona is a singer-song writer that hails from London, but now resides in NYC. She has an earthy, yet pure and honest sound. She is being compared to new up-and-coming artist Yael Naim and Lenka. She reminds me a little of Regina Spektor (without the crazy) and Feist. Leona first caught my attention with her song "Ballerina" that was featured in an episode of the show "Weeds". Come to find out later, she sang the harmony on one of my favorite Counting Crows' song "Black and Blue" from their album "Hard Candy." She has had other songs featured on shows/movies such as "The O.C" and "Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason." This new album excites me because it is her first release since 2003. To top it all off, Leona will be touring with Ray Lamontagne (umm... PLEASE check him out - he is INCREDIBLE) and sings on one of his songs on his brand new album "Gossip in the Grains" to be released Oct. 14th (consequently when I get to go to his show!!!) When I bought tickets for his show, I was extremely excited to see that she is the opening act. I can't wait to hear her sound live!



"Under Summer Sun" by Matt Wertz
Matt Wertz has been one of those underground names, similar to that of Stephen Speaks, amongst my group of friends. I remember running into Matt Wertz songs when Kazaa was popular and music downloading didn't have the penalties it does now. I have a CD I made of his songs and thought how real and soulful his voice and lyrics were, plus, he loved Jesus! Matt spent his time gaining popularity through playing at Young Life camps (and his best friend happens to be Dave Barnes.. umm... sweet!) Matt has toured with acts such as Jars of Clay, Matt Nathanson (i LOVE him), and Jason Mraz. Though this is Matt's 5th album, the time has finally come for Matt to break out from the indie world and into the light of mainstream! Recently, Matt has been on tour with Gavin Degraw, and he is finally beginning to get the recognition for his music that he deserves. While the jump into mainstream means adding more than just the simple and beautiful acoustics, I think this album can do Matt some good as well as bring his music to the masses. My favorite acoustic song, "Red Meets Blue" makes it onto this album with a fuller band sound. Overall, Matt's music is touching to the soul and his voice can make you swoon. Here's to Matt's continued success and let's see what this album could do for his career (perhaps a headlining tour?)


"Keep Coming Back" by Marc Broussard
I was first introduced to Marc by my dear friend, and fellow music junkie, Joe Link. Marc's album "Carencro" hooked me within notes. His voice is full of soul (which makes sense because he's a Louisiana boy). I mean, this dude, can SING! His music is like a mix of R&B, rock, pop, soul, funk... and the kitchen sink. This is his third album (and he's only 2 years older than me!!!) Besides his music, he has toured with some of the BIG dogs of music: Dave Matthews Band, O.A.R, Willie Nelson, Bonnie Raitt; as well as some of my favorite smaller names Sara Bareilles (who collaborates with him on one song on this new album and Marc joins her tour this fall) and Josh Kelley (who I met at SU!!!). This album already seems like it will not disappoint - still bringing Marc's smooth and soulful voice with the fun of the light beats and catchy melodies. Marc... are you coming to town any time soon?!


So, if you're in the mood for something good or need to try some new music, check these folks out! And check back here next week for some more music updates!!! :)

Ohhh blog...

Well, I always have good intentions on keeping this up, but alas the last few weeks of school have sucked my time.

But here I am!!! :) I really want to be better at this... I'll keep trying!

Anyway, here's a life update:

1. School is re-taking its place as my significant other
2. I'm having a great time with my students
3. I'm building deeper relationships with my teacher friends from school :)
4. Ra is in my Bible study (PRAISE THE LORD!!!!)
5. I am still waiting to move with Em and Ra... they just need jobs (pray, pray, pray!)
6. Band is going well... exciting things are in our future ;)
7. I will be co-directing the spring musical - Into the Woods
8. I am looking forward to October - 4 concerts in 4 weeks :)
9. Still trying to wrap up some new songs
10. I am still terrible at grading papers (hahaha)

Although the pace of life has been steadily growing since the end of summer, I feel that overall, I am keeping up with the pace better than ever (for now!). The other really incredible thing that has been happening has been my seminar class. This is an extra class that we teach for an hour most days. This is a course based off of curriculum objectives that support the MSA (the bane of our existence) but it can be on any topic of the teacher's choice. I chose to do a unit on Mystery, Suspense, and Forensic science. It is going so well! Last week I taught my kids how to make fingerprints - this week they will have to take what they learned to solve a real "crime" in our classroom. We are having a great time! And they are learning at the same time (soooo sneaky of me!)

Well... off to make sure I'm ready for tomorrow! :)

Laughable Moment

In my necessity for a moment that was not school related and multiplied by the fact that my cable was out this morning and I missed my daily dose of Stan Stovall, I took some time to read the news online.

I came across this article: http://www.wbaltv.com/news/17314012/detail.html

What is a counterfeit shirt??!??!!!

Being a Teacher Is Like Being A Rockstar

I'm not kidding... today, I felt like a rock star. Ok, so this might be the biggest understatement of the year, but I have LOVED (and really LOVED) 99% of my students for the past two years - probably more so than a normal person would. I cannot help it! My ultimate goal, moreso than any other thing on the curriculum, is to make my students feel safe, feel important, and feel taken care of. I do things purposefully to build relationships with each one of them because I truly care about each one of them. I am seeing the fruit of these investments as time goes on. Which brings me to feeling like a rockstar today.

This year, my students from my first year of teaching are in 8th grade and my loves from last year are in 7th grade. Yesterday, I had a handful of 7th graders stop by to say hi and tell me about their summers.

However, today, there were 3 occasions where 8th graders came SCREAMING "Ms. Walker! Ms. Walker!" down the hallway, only to practically tackle me to the floor with hugs and "I miss you! Why aren't you teaching 8th grade?!" Is this what it's like to be one of the Jonas Brothers??? (jk) It really made me laugh (and of course, I was happy to see them as well). And it gave me that warm feeling inside. These girls know that I adore them and I care about them.

I just loving teaching - it is so rewarding. Even on my toughest days when I feel like I have nothing left, my students can make me smile. Getting waves, smiles, and high fives down the hallway - man there is nothing like it! Thank you, Jesus, for putting me here in this place. There were times where I was unsure, when I was scared, but time and time again, you remind me that you have me exactly where you want me and need me. :)

Anyway, I've had some people ask, so I will leave you with some pictures of my classroom! Trust me, it does not usually look this neat.... it has only been 2 days! hahaha
My second favorite bulletin board of the year (my first happens 3rd quarter). The welcome board with all of my students on it and my supply shelf! :) (like my pencil holder?)


The back of my room


The front view from the inner pod door


The front of my room! (That chair is deceiving... I never sit! haha)

It's been two days... I'm starting to remember how to do this whole "school" thing again. :)

Wow... I survived the first day.

I don't have much to report on the subject because I am way too tired to think. It is interesting how my body needs to readjust to life in the classroom. My leg muscles are tight... I wonder what my mileage equivalent would be? I walk around my room A LOT! (I basically do not sit down from 7:30 to 1:45). My voice is scratchy... I know that I have not talked that much all summer! haha Ehh, by the end of the week, I'll be back to normal.

Well, in light of the first day, I'm going to share some pictures from Hannah's 2nd birthday. Why, you ask? Because the first day of school as a 6th grade teacher sometime feels a lot like herding around toddlers. You have to show them where the bathroom is, guide them where they are supposed to be, help them keep track of their belongings, and dry their tears when they are scared, lost, or confused. I often feel like mother duck trying to help all of her little ducklings get in a row. :)

Well, without further adieu... Hannah turns two!!! (Note: These pictures were taken with my point and shoot... I forgot the big boy :( )

Birthday Beauty

Christopher eating a hot dog in the hammock.



Hannah's friends :)

Blowing out the candles :)


Ella praying for cake? :)

Lexi and Erin


Hannah asked me to take this picture and then quickly said, "Lemme see"



Hannah REALLY liked this shirt

She also really liked her bike helmet :)

There are many reasons why I love Hannah. She is funny, sweet, kind, and fun to be with. She has a personality all her own. I love spending time with her and even as her two-year-old self, she makes me feel special when she gets happy to see me or when she runs to give me hugs. Hannah, I am so very glad you came to this world. You have brought me joy every time I see you. Thank you for being a little ray of sunshine. :)

And just before I go, enjoy this video of Hannah eating birthday cake ;)